I was recently enjoying lunch with some friends. As is typical with this group, we began discussing new health trends and favorite low-calorie recipes… we love to share ways to stay healthy. At some point, the conversation turned to “dropping a few more pounds”. One of my beautiful friends agreed, saying, “I need to tell my husband to stop complimenting me because it is just making me feel complacent.”
Wait, what?!
Why do we do this, constantly tearing ourselves down? Why do we find it so much easier, and perhaps more socially acceptable, to compliment and support a friend than to treat ourselves with this same kindness? when we look in the mirror, we focus on our flaws and berate ourselves for any lack of perfection. So often the person we see bears no resemblance to the woman we are.
In 2013, Dove Soap published a video campaign, Dove Real Beauty Sketches, sharing the message: “You are more beautiful than you think”. My heart melts and tears flow when I watch it.
As I’ve grown older, I’m finally realizing that my friends don’t pay attention to the gray hairs sprouting all over my head or the frizzies that I can’t get to behave… instead, they think my curly locks are beautiful. My children don’t notice my crow's feet or dark circles… all they see is the love in my eyes as I listen to their stories or empathize with their worries and fears. And I feel confident that my husband hasn’t noticed the extra pounds around my waist that I curse… quite the contrary, he is mesmerized by my curves!
Our society, and our inner critic, tell us that claiming our beauty is vain. Sadly, being “humble” through self-deprecation is far more acceptable. Together we can break down these norms. Let’s start treating the woman in the mirror as we would treat a friend. Better yet, let’s see ourselves the way God sees us.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; beautiful in every way.
~ Song of Songs 4:7 NLT ~
Our God, who is always truthful and always right, is talking to YOU… yes, YOU. It’s time to listen and love yourself as you are today. Not just the younger version of yourself 15 years ago, or the skinnier future version of yourself after you lose ten pounds. It’s time to view yourself through the eyes of your family, friends, and Creator, and take on their unconditional love as your own. You are beautiful and you are loved.
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