If you are like the average person, you have 12,000-60,000 thoughts per day. That’s a lot of thinking! And, a staggering 80% of those thoughts are negative. (National Science Foundation, 2005)
I’m such an idiot … Things are never going to get better … Why did I say that? She must think I’m horrible … Why did she say that? She’s horrible … I always screw up … No one wants me to be here … Someone else can do this better than I can … I’m never going to succeed … I wish I had her life.
It’s a vicious cycle. A negative thought comes to mind, then we use another negative thought to try to dismantle it.
Ugh! Stop being so negative! … Why am I so judgmental and critical?! … Sheesh, there I go again! … The downward spiral continues to gain momentum.
At a recent Echo Gathering, we spoke about the Rhythm of RESTORE and gained some simple yet powerful guidance from our guest speaker, Jamie Cullen, a Mental Health Counselor. This nugget of wisdom has the power to not only break our toxic thinking, but open the door for growth, healing, and transformation.
Jamie explained about the gift of curiosity. In response to a negative thought, reaction, or behavior, Jamie encourages us to simply be curious about where that came from. We tend to berate ourselves, which again, only exacerbates the problem. When we choose to stay curious, we give ourselves permission to step back and evaluate ourselves and situations as an inquisitive bystander whose only goal is honest reflection that yields growth. We use the same kind, tender voice we would share with a best friend.
Huh. I wonder why I just beat myself up over this.
Why do I tend to speak in extremes, using “always” and “never”?
Where is this anxious feeling coming from?
Why did I just react so negatively toward that person?
Where did this harsh judgment in my mind originate?
Why do I put such unrealistic expectations on myself?
The beauty of approaching ourselves with curiosity is that it opens the space for the Holy Spirit to reveal opportunities for growth and transformation. Our spiral of toxic thoughts silences His voice in our minds and hearts. Tender curiosity connects us with the guidance our Heavenly Father longs to offer; it welcomes the restoration process that reveals the beauty of His creation in us.
As one of our gathering guests so accurately reflected, it takes courage to stay curious, and it begins by trusting Jesus. The process of restoration doesn’t happen overnight. It can be painstaking and arduous at times. But, we take one step at a time, with the assurance that our Guide knows, sees, hears, and loves us. Fortunately, all we have to do is place our hand in His…
“Father God, thank You for Your love for me. You made me and know me better than I know myself. Thank You for being my perfect Restorer. I know that in order to become more like Jesus, curiosity is required. Give me the courage and tenderness to stay curious about myself. Help me to receive Your grace and guidance. I trust You.”
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