A few days ago I was at the copy counter at Staples when another customer came up beside me. She requested to use the paper cutter and proceeded to spread out a stack of materials in front of her. Within minutes she became quite agitated as she wrestled with the cutter and her task. When I glanced over, she looked up at me, exasperated.
"You seem a bit stressed," I said, and her eyes immediately welled up with tears. She held up some newspaper clippings. "My dad's obituary," she offered in explanation. A few more questions revealed her intent to create bible bookmarks for her grieving family members. I put a tentative hand on her shoulder and began helping her with her project.
Tears continued to brim as we chatted, and I could tell her emotions were frustrating her. She kept shaking her head in protest, and then glanced at the ceiling and said, "I'm sorry Daddy. Your girl isn't being very strong right now."
My heart ached for this stranger, and before we parted ways I told her, "Allow your grief to redefine what 'strong' looks like. Because you seem pretty strong to me."
I bet I'm not the only one who can relate to this woman. In times of hardships and trials, it's common for women to busy ourselves and serve the needs of others. We cook, host, write, plan, speak, notify, and lead. We assume that "strong" means we don't cry or show our pain or fall apart.
Grief, in its rawest of forms, has a way of setting our dictionaries ablaze. To be "strong" in the midst of life's most difficult circumstances is to courageously face the pain, trusting it will not overtake us, trusting in the One who sees, hears, and holds us. Grief defines "strong" as allowing space to feel.
This is one reason I love the above verse from Revelation. Not only does it speak to the comfort of the future day when there will be no more pain, but it also implies that the tears we shed during present circumstances are not only normal but expected.
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